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Hannahmgp's favorite FMLs
by fuck / 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm / Norway (Buskerud) / Health
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML
by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by gamerguru13 / 04/21/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML
by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals
Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/06/2013 at 8:06am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by WellShit / 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Amathiel / 12/29/2012 at 10:23am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Health
by ThisisMedSchool / 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
- Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only… Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or… Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my…