About Han1156 : So I've been around for awhile before boners quit sad face on app a lot but message me I'm on here religiously
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46654) - you deserved it (5744)
On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (54521)
On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (5662)
On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45425) - you deserved it (9782)
On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55605) - you deserved it (2580)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by wtfisgoingon (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my whole family made an hour-long drive to a restaurant that's just a few minutes away from my place. I wasn't invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40010) - you deserved it (2520)
Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45519) - you deserved it (3221)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (3942)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46575) - you deserved it (2732)
On 04/27/2013 at 4:28am - misc - by whathehell (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16544) - you deserved it (65195)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, nobody wants to hang out with me due to a nasty rumor that my ex has spread. No one will tell me what was said, because I apparently "know full well" what I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44491) - you deserved it (2958)
On 04/27/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by dabull (man) - United States
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48011) - you deserved it (9887)
On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36269) - you deserved it (6970)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40670) - you deserved it (6318)
On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64656) - you deserved it (8383)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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