About Han1156 : So I've been around for awhile before boners quit sad face on app a lot but message me I'm on here religiously
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (2602)
On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (3300)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34901) - you deserved it (2731)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (3572)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37928) - you deserved it (3167)
On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39882) - you deserved it (4077)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34643) - you deserved it (4517)
On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (10904)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34772) - you deserved it (9538)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40360) - you deserved it (2689)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (2368)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39687) - you deserved it (3105)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40123) - you deserved it (3718)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41983) - you deserved it (4407)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands
Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35623) - you deserved it (6244)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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