I love you
Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you totally deserved it (62127)
On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49427) - you totally deserved it (19327)
On 03/17/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by RdL (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50947) - you totally deserved it (15818)
On 03/17/2009 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by ThePopeMan (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as things were heating up, my closet door flew open and my little brother ran out screaming, "Mom, they're doing it, come quick!" My mom paid my 9 year old brother to spy on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85975) - you totally deserved it (9302)
On 03/13/2009 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by evanescence (man) - United States (California)
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48682) - you totally deserved it (15397)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56136) - you totally deserved it (4415)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was cleaning my room and opened my closet to spray febreze on all of my clothes. After they were fairly soaked, I placed the bottled back in the cleaning drawer, and realized that it was bleach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16646) - you totally deserved it (44766)
On 03/13/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!". I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you totally deserved it (58961)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59124) - you totally deserved it (3706)
On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (135055) - you totally deserved it (30719)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you totally deserved it (39314)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
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