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HAS95

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HAS95

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2155
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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HAS95's page activity

Visits<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 2:17pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 09/23/2011 at 7:39am<b>mangobird</b> - the 02/15/2011 at 3:26pm

HAS95's FML badges

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HAS95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21831) - you deserved it (5791)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

#19624704
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22593) - you deserved it (2694)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13070) - you deserved it (54050) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9963) - you deserved it (61277)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (6886)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (4164)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
676 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (49126)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

#17588509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30506) - you deserved it (2802)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Alexis - United States (Virginia)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12953) - you deserved it (51555)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (15595)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (14227)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54330) - you deserved it (6841)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50226) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (16311)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (11769)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)



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