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Gvil_Eenius

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Gvil_Eenius
  • Town/Country : Your Mom's house!
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 604
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Gvil_Eenius's favorite FMLs

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

#18565100
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (4926)

On 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (6328)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

#8968653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7611) - you deserved it (21655)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (22794)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (6451)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16940) - you deserved it (3046)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I saw my boyfriend for the first time in a while. When he came over we realized that we had not only gotten the same haircut, but we were also wearing the same sweater. We are a matching old couple at 17. FML

#8764219
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9886) - you deserved it (20563)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:15am - love - by oldandmarriedapparently (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (2342)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

#8754431
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23047) - you deserved it (1842)

On 03/01/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by :( - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18117) - you deserved it (4024)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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