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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5925) - you deserved it (22710)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7474) - you deserved it (21102)
On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32175) - you deserved it (3492)
On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75027) - you deserved it (10603)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (3238)
On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line tells me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I've got a headache, my legs are stiff and my date must think I stood her up. The tech finally arrives, pries the door open, then rudely asks, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31888) - you deserved it (2268)
On 09/15/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Stuckism (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6522)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26821) - you deserved it (6522)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10309) - you deserved it (43494)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47909) - you deserved it (5685)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went through the car wash my boyfriend works at. When I pulled in, I explained I was Greg's girlfriend and cutely asked if I could get a free car wash. His co-worker looked at me confused and said "Greg said he didn't have a girlfriend", then he looked at me and said "Now I know why". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (7449)
On 08/06/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (65191)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10109) - you deserved it (41067)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (3401)
On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8726) - you deserved it (56060)
On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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