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GrooveSponge

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GrooveSponge
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1120
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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GrooveSponge's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML

#5544276
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (5533)

On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (2227)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14045) - you deserved it (38709)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML

#5031923
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4435) - you deserved it (29262)

On 09/03/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by nottililgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

#4803979
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (3438)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

#4511410
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43206) - you deserved it (14329)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by onehundredpercenteffed (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

#4204058
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15248) - you deserved it (34462)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

#4063087
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38324) - you deserved it (14254)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by Joel_mama (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML

#1021876
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9318) - you deserved it (83113)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:52pm - work - by TheBRADLeyB (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (105373)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

#818560
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62364) - you deserved it (5748)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm - misc - by InsideActress (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86990) - you deserved it (31874)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

#506180
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55777) - you deserved it (15497)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by teriyaki124 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17256) - you deserved it (42055)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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