About Grimmerie : Hey guys. I'm generally a pretty chill guy, with a very sarcastic, dry sense of humour. Occasionally I become very opinionated.
I like animals. I currently own a rat, a rabbit, and a dog.
I used to own a white's tree frog, fire belly newts, red fin sharks, a turtle, bettas (bred them for a few years), aquatic frogs, and a saltwater tank full of sea horses and live coral.
My girlfriend keeps and breed snakes, as well as owning a blue-tongued skink.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She has no arms.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Not Sally.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17719) - you deserved it (3387)
On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62975) - you deserved it (4396)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States
Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5724) - you deserved it (38427)
On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)
Today, I thought that I had finally sold the car I've been trying to sell for two years. I had the money in my hand and had given over the title. As the "new" owner went to drive it away, the car wouldn't start. I had to give the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (8377)
On 09/29/2009 at 11:57am - money - by me612 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11240) - you deserved it (30177)
On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30568) - you deserved it (1497)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10365) - you deserved it (31967)
On 09/08/2009 at 3:32pm - misc - by NoMoreHeadphones (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97107) - you deserved it (23453)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41550) - you deserved it (4154)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5853) - you deserved it (35274)
On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13724) - you deserved it (43032)
On 07/07/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (6971)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58467) - you deserved it (8835)
On 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by toomuchmetal (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (39187)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17481) - you deserved it (39187)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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