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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Grffin

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Grffin
  • Town/Country : Santa Clarita, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 February 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 11583
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Grffin : I pretty much pwn everyone at carrot smashing contests. Mainly because carrots blow.

Grffin's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Grffin's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (463)

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (98454)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (41861) - you deserved it (13237)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

#819596 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (66971) - you deserved it (4017)

On 04/05/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by brizzle (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (11887)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

#814481 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (30776) - you deserved it (56851)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

#804387 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (50617) - you deserved it (7226)

On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (58653)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend in the hallway of our school, and once we got to his class, I leaned in for a kiss. Surprising me, he leaned away, and I asked what was wrong. He told me he's glad we're going out, but just doesn't want anyone to know. FML

#629256 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (50928) - you deserved it (3096)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:49pm - misc - by denied - United States (Delaware)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733 (538)

I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (220476)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML

#154058 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (63434) - you deserved it (3667)

On 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by ap84 - United States (California)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342729) - you deserved it (22945)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)