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GreenAlbatross

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GreenAlbatross
  • Town/Country : Sunnyvale, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 November 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About GreenAlbatross : I do admit that I'm a bit of a troll, but I try to do my trolling with a bit of intelligence. I'm a Unitarian Universalist from the SF Bay Area that firmly believes in civil liberties and proper Socialism. Feel free to email me at HeDarra@gmail.com if you would like to have an intelligent discussion or debate. Please do not harass me though, I have better things to do with my time. Have a nice day and watch out for the carnivorous green platypus (He likes to eat people's left toes.).

GreenAlbatross's last visitors

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GreenAlbatross's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

GreenAlbatross's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46053) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33131) - you deserved it (2337)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

#5224177
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39469) - you deserved it (22187)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - love - by sunburychick (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

#4859599
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62772) - you deserved it (2218)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55311) - you deserved it (16742)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

#4154850
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36598) - you deserved it (3679)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49275) - you deserved it (20348)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45337) - you deserved it (4475)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71247) - you deserved it (7973)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

#943953
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58943) - you deserved it (3163)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123724) - you deserved it (9416)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49420) - you deserved it (598632)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77315) - you deserved it (12978)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)



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