GreeenEggsAndHam

Search for a member

GreeenEggsAndHam

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4279
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

GreeenEggsAndHam's page activity

Visits<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 12/04/2016 at 4:49am<b>Mons</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 4:57pm<b>Robert3Lee</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 12:44am<b>Crazion</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:48pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:06pm<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 3:06pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:40am<b>scott421</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:29am<b>macaire</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Scarylizard1798</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:51pm<b>vlader08</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 4:48pm<b>Kylandeshon</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:00am<b>mcdekree</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Way2Fast8</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:39am<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 4:42pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 3:38am<b>bmba94</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 6:57pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 12:50pm

GreeenEggsAndHam's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of GreeenEggsAndHam's badges

GreeenEggsAndHam's favorite FMLs

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 11:09am / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

by jessefonsexy. / 12/07/2010 at 6:08am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh / 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

by BEE / 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

by BEE / 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

by mariokarter / 08/28/2009 at 12:41am / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

by embarassed_chick / 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

by Buggga / 08/22/2009 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 9:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 9:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

by Life of the party / 08/19/2009 at 1:13am / Miscellaneous