Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Grauncho

Online | Search for a member

Grauncho

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2885
  • Number of comments : 344
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Grauncho : Do you have kik? Shoot me a message. Kik: grauncho

Grauncho's page activity

Visits<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:15pm<b>nemcali</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:53pm<b>youraveragehuman</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:38am<b>powerkeep</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 10:01am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:06am<b>PranksALot</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 12:13am<b>melpower</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:39pm<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 10:30am<b>RJKomo12</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:49am<b>BlingBang</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:22am<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:12am<b>vegasked</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:30am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 9:33am<b>hippokrates</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:33pm<b>beezybaby4714</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Pyro1921</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 7:13pm

Liked!<b>nemcali</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:53am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:38pm<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 4:31pm

Grauncho's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Grauncho's badges

Grauncho's favorite FMLs

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30071) - you deserved it (8585)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

#20397583
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:58am - health - by meranda_johnson - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

#20195284
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21857) - you deserved it (2601)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (1760)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5123) - you deserved it (73735)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (24440)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

#20124963
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (2771)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (3924) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (12411)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML

#20094526
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (22574)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by oohrahgal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20397) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33044) - you deserved it (10273)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38323) - you deserved it (8188)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (2975)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML

#19139101
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11564) - you deserved it (37008)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)



Emily Chan's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Emily Chan's Illustrated FML
  • This week, we landed a spacecraft on a comet. Not FML, though. You've got to admit that the human brain is quite amazing when it comes to resources, creativity and inventing new ways to push things forward. On…

Friday 14 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: