Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

GrandmaPearl

Search for a member

GrandmaPearl
  • Town/Country : Yeah right!, AMERICA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 April 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1247
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About GrandmaPearl : I'm Morgan! I'm a laid back person! But I'm very preppy! I am Baptist! I like Hollister and Abercrombie! I LOVE RAY BANS! I love my country! Talk to ya later!!

GrandmaPearl's last visitors

Hello9875xxBFMVAAMIWxxUberNovafurrymoneyKingBoy100sunshine41196NixieRdz

GrandmaPearl's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

GrandmaPearl's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (2110)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

#20073639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17248) - you deserved it (1278)

On 09/15/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17079) - you deserved it (1474)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19003) - you deserved it (3887)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, after having been told that I looked horrible for the last five months, I decided to give myself a make-over. As soon as the make-up artist was done, I told her I didn't like it, and that I still didn't like how I look. She simply replied: ''Well, I'm a make-up artist, not a magician!'' FML

#19411148
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12048) - you deserved it (21754)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (1532)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

#19265629
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15143) - you deserved it (7661)

On 03/12/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by anonamous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
205 comments

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5196) - you deserved it (23360)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32884) - you deserved it (5253)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (2554)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (4944)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

#19243169
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27204) - you deserved it (2565)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:53pm - health - by radiating (woman) -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: