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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Gottobekiddingme's favorite FMLs
by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML
by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML
by ilivehere / 07/17/2013 at 10:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy
by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 1:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML
by babs / 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
by GDBeast / 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm / United States / Love
Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by pussyface96 / 09/19/2012 at 5:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
by kevcng / 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm / United States / Work
- Today, my dad offered to take me and my sister to school because we just moved houses. On the way,… Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember… Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it…