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Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 3:28pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9334
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Gotmilk : I’m Alice and I'm the one in charge of the illustration section. You’re an artist? You got a website/blog ? You want to create and display your stuff on FML? Don't wait any longer and email me NOW : [email protected]

Gotmilk's page activity

Visits<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:32pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:49pm<b>melinal</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 6:33pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 4:43am<b>gab86</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 10:41am<b>FMLkoala</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 1:44am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 11:22pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 5:18pm<b>Hisqueen2013</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 5:01pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 3:20pm<b>Cupcake_Rapist</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 12:08pm<b>ayeitskellay</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:55am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 9:46am<b>perry_sameh20</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 9:07am<b>IHATEFMYLIFE</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 9:01am<b>BlackBirdsSong</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 8:13am<b>arod27pr</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 6:40am<b>testtest2</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 3:27pm

Fucked!<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:23am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 5:49am

Gotmilk's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of Gotmilk's badges

Gotmilk's favorite FMLs

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

by Really? / 07/10/2010 at 10:57am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

by virginmary / 12/06/2009 at 3:07am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

by helenablitz / 08/28/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML

by Em / 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML

by mylifesucks / 04/18/2009 at 3:20am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Love

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

by shutupandsmile18 / 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

by Safe / 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

by Zoe123 / 03/19/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

by LJ / 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love