About Gotmilk : I’m Alice and I'm the one in charge of the illustration section. You’re an artist? You got a website/blog ? You want to create and display your stuff on FML? Don't wait any longer and email me NOW : alice@fmylife.com
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Perfectionist
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Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29305) - you deserved it (4983)
On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (2663)
On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33911) - you deserved it (2818)
On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (4838)
On 07/10/2010 at 10:57am - work - by Really? - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (2038)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by virginmary (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26892) - you deserved it (3067)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40216) - you deserved it (3496)
On 08/28/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by helenablitz (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
I agree, your life sucks (48128) - you deserved it (15116)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (94863) - you deserved it (4895)
On 04/18/2009 at 3:20am - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (12134)
On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70073) - you deserved it (3733)
On 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Safe - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (46903)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72053) - you deserved it (11578)
On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75882) - you deserved it (2530)
On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72355) - you deserved it (24228)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm - love - by goodbye (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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