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GooglyFML

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GooglyFML
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  • Number of visits : 2336
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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GooglyFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML

#17061004
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27043) - you deserved it (7978)

On 07/11/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28276) - you deserved it (11874)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I told a lady checking out to sign her name after sliding her credit card. After she started signing her name, she threw the pen down in frustration saying that the pen was out of ink. We use electronic pin pads. FML

#17057819
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25364) - you deserved it (2292)

On 07/10/2011 at 9:13pm - work - by asianjoe (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7192) - you deserved it (38808)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a customer scream, rant, and bitch me out because the pictures she took with her own camera came out blurry. My manager took her side. FML

#17010125
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31338) - you deserved it (2278)

On 07/07/2011 at 2:23am - work - by photo grunt - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called my phone company to get some answers about my phone bill. I was okay with being put on hold. In fact, I was on hold for so long, that the music stopped playing. When someone finally answered they told me to call back tomorrow. All my phones disconnected an hour later. FML

#16992661
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30260) - you deserved it (2310)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:20pm - money - by Broguy - Canada

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

#16933111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38400) - you deserved it (3883)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:12am - love - by single (man) - China (Guangdong)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46382) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML

#16882996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43981) - you deserved it (2866)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Drunken Sailor - United States (New York)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9388) - you deserved it (42593)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

#16882542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36907) - you deserved it (2976)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by mavstrr1764847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (3809)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43214) - you deserved it (9795)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. My new boss asked me if I was single. After telling him I have been happily married for 6 years, he fired me on the spot. FML

#16793164
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46190) - you deserved it (3247)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met my husband's old high school sweetheart. My mother-in-law introduced me to her as "one of my son's friends." We've been married for over eight years. FML

#16771812
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (2112)

On 06/20/2011 at 10:40pm - love - by minnEmouse (woman) - United States



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