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Golpon

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Golpon

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  • Number of visits : 353
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Golpon's page activity

Visits<b>babiecakez</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 6:54pm<b>Reaper1984</b> - the 06/17/2013 at 7:08pm<b>KayArGee</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 12:21am

Golpon's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Golpon's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47341) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57062) - you deserved it (3372)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46745) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50979) - you deserved it (7073)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

#20904287
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (3766)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:54am - love - by KamiyaHaine (woman) - Singapore

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41805) - you deserved it (5337)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

#20768438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49307) - you deserved it (4653)

On 07/07/2013 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65641) - you deserved it (21327)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

#20768067
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43179) - you deserved it (3847)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by yum - United States (California)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (2963)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just looked him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

#20723714
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45056) - you deserved it (3403)

On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60189) - you deserved it (5418)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47529) - you deserved it (3154)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47342) - you deserved it (12272)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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