About GolgiTendonOs : I hope to someday have me brain implanted into a lunar rover to explore other planets... Or be a CNT based cyborg state senator. Nanomachines, son.
GolgiTendonOs's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
GolgiTendonOs's favorite FMLs
by stillloveherthough / 02/26/2016 at 12:54pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 10:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML
by katt_is_here / 10/06/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML
by Trimacle / 08/24/2011 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm / United States / Intimacy
by dahs / 04/03/2011 at 7:27am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Intimacy
Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 5:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
by maebyf / 08/31/2010 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me… Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom… Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…