Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About GodsPetTaco : I love Death and Speed metal, having a great time with firends and * long awkward pause* BATMAN!!! NANANANANANANANANANANANNANANANANANA BATMAN!
And i cant seem to spell firends.... Firends.. Sigh. FIRENDS
FML i can't spell friends. :O I did it! I Did it! I ARE TEH WINNER!
Message me please! XP. I'll give you my love!
Even more not lonely! XD
Its my love list!
Daaarnit. (Love Heart)
3M4. (Love Heart) x105 :O She just got like 50 loves!
BaBiiSpAnky821. (Love Heart)
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Friday 21 November 2014