GoddessOfCookies

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GoddessOfCookies

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 May 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1394
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About GoddessOfCookies : I am the immortal octopus.

GoddessOfCookies's page activity

Visits<b>Bibblejomin</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:47pm<b>BFons</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 7:31pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 8:44pm<b>german_boy97</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 1:27pm<b>crazyazzkile</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:34pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 5:49pm<b>child_of_3_girls</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 6:18pm<b>Hammer6</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:57am<b>mikukukuku</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 6:19pm<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 10:47pm<b>AttackofTheCammy</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:48am<b>Parkour_rocks</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 10:46pm<b>neonblueshoes</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 3:31pm<b>olpally</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 1:09pm<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 1:18am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 10:40pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 9:03pm<b>rwil90</b> - the 10/04/2013 at 8:09pm

GoddessOfCookies's FML badges

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50 favourites

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GoddessOfCookies's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

by D: / 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

by nicetomeetyou2 / 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

by MixMastaKDizzle / 09/23/2013 at 4:23am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad and I had a yelling match about me "lying", because I was unable to contact iTunes support without a phone number. To prove a point, he went online to find the phone number. It's been an hour and he's still searching for the number. I can't leave the table until he has found it. FML

by SeriouslyDad / 09/22/2013 at 9:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

by me / 09/22/2013 at 9:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6am to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 7:36am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

by collegebroke / 09/22/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

by marryinghimanyway / 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

by thefuck / 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm / Ireland (Cavan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 3:17am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2013 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

by shatMyself / 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm / United States / Health