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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Goaheadandlaugh

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Goaheadandlaugh
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  • Number of visits : 1500
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML

#15336709 (441)

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (10267)

On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474 (491)

I agree, your life sucks (37773) - you deserved it (6262)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (4292)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (10888) - you deserved it (38254)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

#15319129 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (3375)

On 03/15/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Kimberlie (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (4972)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756 (328)

I agree, your life sucks (82022) - you deserved it (4401) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

#15309054 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (26270) - you deserved it (5734)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

#15308745 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (17064) - you deserved it (9534)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

#15308430 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (26739) - you deserved it (7013)

On 03/14/2011 at 2:31pm - misc - by lonelynessinCA (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was texting a girl I like. Every message she sent came ten minutes after I sent her a message. When I told her "I've to go", she responded almost instantly with an "Ok, bye". FML

#15282818 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (7069)

On 03/12/2011 at 9:43am - love - by AuraOfJustice - United States

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (2411)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML

#15129927 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (10504) - you deserved it (36211)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by NoMeatFail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

#15129596 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (2622)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - health - by mwja (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (4679) - you deserved it (41094)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)



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