About GigglePony : Bro, get my glock...hold my unicorn too.
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Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (5686)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:32am - love - by thanksbabe - United States
Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32546) - you deserved it (4909)
On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13106) - you deserved it (2301)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)
Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (4756)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (1906)
On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32537) - you deserved it (5363)
On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33933) - you deserved it (3978)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (3466)
On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39881) - you deserved it (5295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend if he was cheating on me. He replied, "Nah, all the chicks in this town are fuck-ugly." and stared at me until I left the room. Good to know that's his only reason for staying faithful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (5143)
On 12/29/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by single once again (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)
Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40209) - you deserved it (4395)
On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (2002)
On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (2002)
On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (3219)
On 12/25/2012 at 12:00am - love - by all by myself - United States (Alaska)
Monday 20 May 2013
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