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Gasca

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Gasca
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 931
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Gasca's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

#5851375
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35373) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - animals - by syn1734 - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84214) - you deserved it (13912)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

#5724132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40016) - you deserved it (2866)

On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

#5582253
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7231) - you deserved it (22401)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6665) - you deserved it (81848)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30886) - you deserved it (7084)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52869) - you deserved it (2803)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (67421)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (31399)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had 2 cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML

#5061381
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (1884)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:16pm - health - by itsjustnotfair (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that my cat has been laid more times than me. FML

#5054885
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (4908)

On 09/05/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by LaurahLunatic (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

#5023089
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12892) - you deserved it (53552)

On 09/03/2009 at 4:59pm - misc - by Co-B (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8490) - you deserved it (34803)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)



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