Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Garagedwella

Search for a member

Garagedwella

3Fucked!

GaragedwellaGaragedwella
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2016
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Garagedwella : Avid gamer, book lover, car enthusiast, and bowling fanatic!

Garagedwella's page activity

Visits<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:41am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:54am<b>davie94</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 4:49am<b>cskeet</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Kitty5294</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:03am<b>elohnah</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:01am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:50am<b>Necropool</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:46pm<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:20pm<b>Dogfoodlid</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:08am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:10am<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:54pm<b>avocado_tree</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:11pm<b>ashhhllleeeyyy</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:40am<b>RobertMendoza</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Justincredible69</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:24pm<b>mimidamian</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:42pm

Fucked!<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:50am<b>roys1girl</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:49pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:17am

Garagedwella's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of Garagedwella's badges

Garagedwella's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57182) - you deserved it (6603)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55338) - you deserved it (7778)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60028) - you deserved it (4762)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (39625)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35745) - you deserved it (16014)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21898) - you deserved it (62176)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56161) - you deserved it (14707)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (10401)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32166) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31793) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (5397)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50582) - you deserved it (4849)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (5091) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML

#20178502
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14320) - you deserved it (27607)

On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
172 comments


FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: