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Garagedwella

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Garagedwella

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1200
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About Garagedwella : Avid gamer, book lover, car enthusiast, and bowling fanatic!

Garagedwella's page activity

Visits<b>beffnytutt</b> - yesterday at 11:13pm<b>vertencar</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:45pm<b>MichaelDeSanta</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:46pm<b>badnewsbehrs</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 5:27pm<b>RoboCunnilingus</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 12:40pm<b>kinzopinzi</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 5:19am<b>haiku575</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:01am<b>xoamy906</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:50pm<b>BasedComment</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:31am<b>RawrPancaked</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 5:04am<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:12pm<b>jb590</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:07am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 9:28pm<b>itsjohannna</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:22am<b>Nolanation97</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 1:27pm<b>abombination</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:29am<b>KawaiiPenguin13</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:46pm<b>heygirlie777</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 5:33pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Garagedwella's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51635) - you deserved it (18795)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (5141)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

#20830409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (44127)

On 08/10/2013 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44444) - you deserved it (10221)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54829) - you deserved it (6345)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55069) - you deserved it (7754)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58324) - you deserved it (4595)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27228) - you deserved it (39429)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (15335)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (59996)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55860) - you deserved it (14654)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (10354)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31982) - you deserved it (3330)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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