About Garagedwella : Avid gamer, book lover, car enthusiast, and bowling fanatic!
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Garagedwella's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/13/2014 at 5:27am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML
by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
- Today, I spent most of the day in excruciating pain from sore muscles. Not from working out though,… Today, I asked a guy for directions. He said "well you can either go the short way or the long way,… Today, this guy kept touching my leg and wouldn't stop. Guess who go in trouble for slapping him?…