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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24246) - you deserved it (35411)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (54737) - you deserved it (7713)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (13589)
On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (50503)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44487) - you deserved it (11190)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (7839)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (2370)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17052) - you deserved it (29725)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (2772)
On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (3265)
On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43690) - you deserved it (4298)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45270) - you deserved it (7295)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (7600)
On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20680) - you deserved it (3709) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10357) - you deserved it (20783)
On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Monday 17 June 2013
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