Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Garagedwella

Search for a member

Garagedwella

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1836
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Garagedwella : Avid gamer, book lover, car enthusiast, and bowling fanatic!

Garagedwella's page activity

Visits<b>GrimReefer66</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Narcroc</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 10:21am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 8:42pm<b>alyssaamarante</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:39pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:18pm<b>Contiinuous</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 5:37pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:02pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:43am<b>_Tater_Tot_</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Xsomeblackjewx</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:22pm<b>elisepr18</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:07am<b>WattledParsley</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 7:29pm<b>chillandfun</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:43pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:48pm<b>itswhitneybitch</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:20pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 3:17pm<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 7:41pm<b>kayla__brianna</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 1:29pm

Garagedwella's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Garagedwella's badges

Garagedwella's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (3637)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (5684)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (4053)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (3014)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (3414)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (4350)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (3349)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (3793)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (12392)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML

#21252547
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36054) - you deserved it (17331)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43324) - you deserved it (8729)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48790) - you deserved it (18922)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49318) - you deserved it (21298)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (7782)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: