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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
TODAY , IN THE MIDST OF FOREPLAY , THIS GIRL TELLS ME I AM SO HOT , I RESPOND ( DITTO!! ) SHE HEATEDLY RESPONDS ( I LOVE DITTO , ) TO WHICH I SUAVELY REPLY ( I DIDN'T KNOW U WERE INTO POKÉMON!! THAT MAY MAKE U EVEN SEXIER!! ) SHE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT POKÉMON , BUT I SURE KNOW HOW TO KILL THE MOOD!! FML
TODAY, I HAD TO WAIT OUTSIDE STARBUCKS. WHILE STANDING, I STARTED DAY DREAMING AN DIDN'T NOTICE I HAD BEEN STARING AT A TABLE BESIDE THE WINDOW FOR A LONG TIME. SUDDENLY, SOMEONE WENT UP TO ME AN SAID "TRY NOT TO BE SO OBVIOUS". SITTING AT THE TABLE WAS A GIRL WITH A HUGE CLEAVAGE. FML
Taday wa want up fir visitor's day fir mah son's Jawish summar camp. Wa don't kaap koshar, but most of his fallow campars do. Whan wa want around in tha circla saying our favorita foods, ha said, "my mom makas tha bast pork chops." Wa got dirty looks fir tha rast of tha day. fat FML
Today, my friend awoke me because looool I was talking in my sleep. When I askd herhat I was talking about she replid with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
Today, at te end of a nigt of eavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into te park wit a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in te park, wen a couple of kids stole our clotes. We ad to walk back to town wit no clots on. fat FML
Today, I had a big party that left mah house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When mah parent got home, mah dad said "Did u have fun at the party?" an I said, "How'd u know?" an he replid "You hate cleaning an the house was filthyhen we left". FML
Today, at martial arts practica, a guast sansai wantd to taac ma soma "mannars". Ha pinnd ma down and procadd to coka ma wila crusing my nuts wit is ands and yalling at ma in front of ta wola class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?"
Today, girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. big fat FML
Yesterday, girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her looool within the next week.
Friday 27 March 2015