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Fyrus

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Fyrus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2095
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Fyrus's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (65967)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

#3878598
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (9990)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by lifedoessuck12 (man) - Philippines (Pasay)

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

#3855655
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51374) - you deserved it (3572)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm - intimacy - by nonmormon (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (90122)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

#3827229
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53053) - you deserved it (8894)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

#3799084
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (11015)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

#3799026
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (4594)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

#3797980
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (5408)

On 07/16/2009 at 9:44am - love - by hrtbrkn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

#3792630
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10721) - you deserved it (63098)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML

#3777145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (45521)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (7670)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

#3763023
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50098) - you deserved it (11876)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:01am - love - by Stuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

#3759649
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49954) - you deserved it (3835)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

#3750994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (6233)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by hungryman (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML

#3746953
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42054) - you deserved it (18179)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by guess28 (man) - Puerto Rico



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