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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FuzzMonkey09

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FuzzMonkey09
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 February 1987 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 18627
  • Number of comments : 146
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About FuzzMonkey09 : 22 year old college student.

I really hate it when people razz on users for living at home when they're 18 and above. NEWSFLASH:: Just because you turn 18, doesnt mean you have to move out!

I also hate it when people call "BS" on a FML story. Hello, read the details!!!!

FuzzMonkey09's last visitors

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FuzzMonkey09's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

FuzzMonkey09's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

#644673 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (49997) - you deserved it (16580)

On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (11874) - you deserved it (54298)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friend who was donating for the first time- I told her not to be scared and that I've been doing it for six years and that it was a great way to help people. While at the snack area afterwards, I passed out, started convulsing and went into shock. FML

#573136 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (54704) - you deserved it (5204)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:43am - health - by bridalqueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

#572216 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (50271) - you deserved it (2930)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:19am - misc - by teef (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (45386)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (381653)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249044) - you deserved it (34291)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I interviewed for a full scholarship to college. In the interview I said that I was excited about the new dean because I think she’ll be able to really make improvements and bring the school back to where it used to be. After the interview, I learned my interviewer was the former dean. FML

#333810 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (44655) - you deserved it (16727)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by fire (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (102370) - you deserved it (6987)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (34223)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

#197066 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (111188) - you deserved it (11232)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)