![[fr]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn4.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
About Fucked_for_life : I love basketball, chilling with my friends, watching movies...
I especially love watching Lost, Heroes, Big Bang Theory and Two and a Half Men
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48265) - you deserved it (3607)
On 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14242) - you deserved it (48472)
On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (3182)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12241) - you deserved it (95642)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13809) - you deserved it (66747)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13136) - you deserved it (49589)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14382) - you deserved it (35619)
On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (99475)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121986) - you deserved it (29419)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50485) - you deserved it (3855)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48742) - you deserved it (38213)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40997) - you deserved it (2173)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (50411) - you deserved it (17977)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (32054)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7802) - you deserved it (35011)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by sweet92 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
