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Fuck_Usernames

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 188
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Fuck_Usernames : I'm honestly not sure what to put here

Fuck_Usernames's page activity

Visits<b>angiotensin</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 8:13am<b>Randomperson13</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:23pm<b>Samanthawk</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:55am<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Posthuman</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 9:27am<b>JocelynKaulitz</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 5:05am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 1:30pm

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Fuck_Usernames's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51645) - you deserved it (4525)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (53892)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, while reading the paper I saw a picture of a guy I really like that I met online. The picture is in the obituaries. No wonder he hasn't called. FML

#21103818
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45367) - you deserved it (3612)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by kubbyp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (4253)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52825) - you deserved it (11229)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (5551)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36587) - you deserved it (2598)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75157) - you deserved it (8795)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (12420)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35853) - you deserved it (5280)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37235) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I got into my driving instructors car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML

#1694606
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57688) - you deserved it (3208)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by wow. (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

#280083
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (142601) - you deserved it (15988)

On 03/12/2009 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



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