This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56306) - you deserved it (20811)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5870) - you deserved it (34396)
On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39206) - you deserved it (2388)
On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (3408)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18523) - you deserved it (65523)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55482) - you deserved it (10559)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58521) - you deserved it (2570)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52685) - you deserved it (19762)
On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46108) - you deserved it (1210)
On 05/15/2009 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Langdon (woman) - United States
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21872) - you deserved it (42714)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63117) - you deserved it (20378)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to watch my neighbor's daughter for 10 hours. She wouldn't eat anything I had to offer, so I ordered a pizza for $19 + a $5 tip = $24. Her father came by to pick her up, thanked me, and gave me a $20 bill. I effectively just paid to watch his kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45614) - you deserved it (13740)
On 04/09/2009 at 5:51pm - kids - by Liz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57901) - you deserved it (3729)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55531) - you deserved it (7682)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106536) - you deserved it (14922)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
