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FrostedCanuck's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
by sadddddd / 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by nyaahaha / 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by Wife / 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
by t2t2sync / 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML
by brokeaf / 07/11/2011 at 3:09pm / United States / Money
Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML
by Alec / 06/15/2011 at 5:02am / United States / Health
by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Cantbreath94 / 11/13/2010 at 1:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
by anonymous.. / 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…