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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
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Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (28387)
Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9826) - you deserved it (48633)
On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14049) - you deserved it (44583)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35832) - you deserved it (3564)
On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18351) - you deserved it (2737)
On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14791) - you deserved it (57481)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (4779)
On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (7627)
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (6816)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29015) - you deserved it (2035)
On 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm - health - by sadddddd (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40579) - you deserved it (13030)
On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19719) - you deserved it (4478)
On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24592) - you deserved it (3563)
On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)
Today, I received a $50 iTunes card for my birthday. I immediately sat down at my computer and starting buying all my newest favorites. Then I realized I never redeemed my card so the $50 was all charged to my account. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7939) - you deserved it (33879)
On 07/11/2011 at 3:09pm - money - by brokeaf - United States
Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12380) - you deserved it (24298)
On 06/15/2011 at 5:02am - health - by Alec - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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