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FrostedCanuck's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML
by butnotlikethat / 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm / China (Jiangxi) / Intimacy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 11:27am / Serbia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML
by Oops / 12/25/2012 at 6:17am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, My sister called my boyfriend by my ex's name. I haven't been with my ex for six years. Now,… Today, I had to serve a man with a Nazi Eagle tattoo on one arm and an SS tattoo on the other, and… Today,my little brother invited all ten of his "closest" friends over while our mother was away. I…