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FrostedCanuck's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML
by butnotlikethat / 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm / China (Jiangxi) / Intimacy
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy
by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
by Anonymous / 02/03/2013 at 11:27am / Serbia / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML
by Oops / 12/25/2012 at 6:17am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
by Dontwaketheneighbors / 12/06/2012 at 9:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by bill / 10/24/2012 at 7:14am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy