FrostedCanuck

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Offline (the 02/17/2015 at 4:36am)

FrostedCanuck

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 October 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2767
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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FrostedCanuck's page activity

Visits<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:54am<b>XallyX</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 11:18pm<b>thatkid00117</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 1:18pm<b>_ashole</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 5:52pm<b>LiamPayneLover66</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 6:55pm<b>Sydney06</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 2:49am<b>GRgoldfish</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:04am<b>chellehoran</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 11:50am<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 4:34pm<b>Criptical</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:11am<b>iAlissa</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 2:32am<b>CholoChino</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 10:53am<b>crazybrahh</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 12:14am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 2:58pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/08/2013 at 7:55am<b>LuHGiiiT</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 2:37pm<b>Dukekamono</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 2:28am

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FrostedCanuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

by The Corner Of Death / 08/12/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

by Tooloud / 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML

by Ihatemyjob / 03/17/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work