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French_Toast's FML badges
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French_Toast's favorite FMLs
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML
by HellisLikeTheDMV / 07/13/2012 at 11:19am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 7:38am / Italy / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 8:21am / United States / Kids
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
by santashelper / 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by kidswithnomanners / 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML
by dibman / 01/07/2011 at 4:11am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work
by disney / 11/26/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I rang British Gas to cancel my boiler cover, as I'm totally and utterly skint. I told her the reason was I was getting divorced, moving house, losing my job and had no income at all. She was very sympathetic, and said "how would you like to pay your £37 cancellation fee?" FML
by shellbom / 11/17/2009 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
by lebanesewoman / 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm / Hong Kong / Kids
- Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class… Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and… Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard…