Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FreddyMustDie

Search for a member

FreddyMustDie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2597
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

FreddyMustDie's page activity

Visits<b>missinthebestie</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 10:37pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:17am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 8:21am

FreddyMustDie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

FreddyMustDie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46369) - you deserved it (10097)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (4573)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47035) - you deserved it (11625)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (4573)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28096) - you deserved it (2502)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43540) - you deserved it (4609)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML

#13536412
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35151) - you deserved it (6578)

On 10/21/2010 at 11:20am - misc - by maddiee. (woman) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, I learned the hard way that leaving eye drops in your car all day makes them scorching hot. FML

#13367996
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11711) - you deserved it (35512)

On 10/08/2010 at 5:30pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (9441)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

#13104906
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7577) - you deserved it (30743)

On 09/18/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (6728)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26632) - you deserved it (9504)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26202) - you deserved it (22298)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

#12898898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15434) - you deserved it (29193)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:02am - intimacy - by Lewis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML

#12753740
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13859) - you deserved it (36690)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:27am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: