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Frank155's favorite FMLs
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
by Rick / 03/14/2010 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Money
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
by Cooky / 03/14/2010 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Work
Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML
by EwokLover17 / 03/13/2010 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Geek
by ShowOff / 03/11/2010 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML
by penpendesrapen / 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm / Philippines (Manila) / Work
Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Utah) / Health
by watersport / 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
by ohno / 03/10/2010 at 6:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my parents took my laptop, cut the Internet, took my car keys and TV, and removed my bedroom door. Why? Because they thought the plant I was growing for my science project was a marijuana plant. Oh yeah, they took that too. My presentation is tomorrow. FML
by Kevin / 03/10/2010 at 3:39am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Maddy / 03/10/2010 at 3:00am / United States (Utah) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…