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Foshozico's favorite FMLs
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
by chinatownhobo / 04/08/2013 at 2:12am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Health
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by child of a crazed women / 04/07/2013 at 5:19am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML
by :( / 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm / United States (South Carolina) / Holidays
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
by jealouspussy / 02/20/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
by Anonymous / 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by ihatemylife / 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/18/2013 at 5:50am / United States / Intimacy
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy
by tagteam / 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…