Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ForeverAloneGal

Search for a member

ForeverAloneGal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 August 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 491
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ForeverAloneGal : Solo Siempre. My jokes are hit or miss. Thanks for voting on them. I need that criticism! I need you people...

ForeverAloneGal's page activity

Visits<b>djsammyc</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:37pm<b>kalvmpr</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 9:11am<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:21pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 12:25am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 3:35pm<b>perdix</b> - the 05/03/2013 at 2:08pm<b>bamagrl410</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 3:31pm<b>bigwill240</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 1:45am<b>AdamTR</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 9:11pm<b>canybean</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 9:48am<b>Onti12300</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 10:58pm<b>astrad89</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 9:56pm<b>Anubis_81</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 7:51pm<b>makeupbyjai</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 3:54pm<b>Herewen</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 1:51pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 11:39am<b>soja</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 9:28am<b>decimater</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 8:24am

ForeverAloneGal's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ForeverAloneGal's badges

ForeverAloneGal's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59617) - you deserved it (10725)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39968) - you deserved it (4854)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44241) - you deserved it (6440)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61727) - you deserved it (5415)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

#20585940
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45500) - you deserved it (13372)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37210) - you deserved it (9088)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

#20585611
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44478) - you deserved it (6021)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56941) - you deserved it (16023)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (5699)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss' way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

#20584939
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (7701)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by Directionally challenged - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50423) - you deserved it (10834)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38180) - you deserved it (18122)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

#20584642
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13199) - you deserved it (79326)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (14892)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (9531) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: