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Fmn123

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Fmn123

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 August 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4731
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Fmn123 : Footy=]

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Fmn123's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

#19996058
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (5901)

On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

#19995981
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (2521)

On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56408) - you deserved it (10333)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

#19995451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (1945)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm - misc - by joleezad5 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (1385)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

#19994389
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7966) - you deserved it (46372)

On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (3044)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

#19993573
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13939) - you deserved it (37091)

On 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

#19991846
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (20249)

On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33330) - you deserved it (5019)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (6066)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21414) - you deserved it (2986)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

#19987101
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (8311)

On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

#19986926
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (2161)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5855) - you deserved it (37118)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)



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