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About Fmn123 : Footy=]
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4695) - you deserved it (497)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4892) - you deserved it (403)
On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States
Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1559) - you deserved it (7033)
On 05/22/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by gaga - United States (California)
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4625) - you deserved it (896)
On 05/22/2012 at 1:05am - intimacy - by chchboy (man) - United States
Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15343) - you deserved it (5413)
On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5451) - you deserved it (417)
On 05/20/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (529)
On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5452) - you deserved it (522)
On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7047) - you deserved it (499)
On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5851) - you deserved it (757)
On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5286) - you deserved it (968)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6088) - you deserved it (548)
On 05/19/2012 at 12:17am - love - by Asdf649 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6275) - you deserved it (433)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1536) - you deserved it (8301)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1801) - you deserved it (8061)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
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