Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Fmlsea

Offline (yesterday at 3:36pm) | Search for a member

Fmlsea

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 24 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2951
  • Number of comments : 601
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 65 posted

About Fmlsea : hi

Fmlsea's page activity

Visits<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:10am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:06pm<b>professorchaosx</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:32pm<b>masteraegis</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 11:27am<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:12pm<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:17am<b>aMysteryP3rson</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:09pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 9:53am<b>ComradeNeal</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:42am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:39am<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:38am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 11:55am<b>billionair11</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:43pm<b>nate025</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:49am<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:18am<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:12pm<b>inner_peace</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:55am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:36am

Fmlsea's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

See all of Fmlsea's badges

Fmlsea's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49001) - you deserved it (13668)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41511) - you deserved it (6650)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (3618)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42780) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62540) - you deserved it (5162)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (46477)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44367) - you deserved it (5333)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61183) - you deserved it (25693)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43265) - you deserved it (4094)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54872) - you deserved it (27574)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47064) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48103) - you deserved it (4825)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (5512)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64657) - you deserved it (5185)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: