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FlyingFucker

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FlyingFucker
  • Town/Country : Montreal, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 April 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 81
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About FlyingFucker : Nothing special about me, i just come to FML to pass some time and to read people's stories.

FlyingFucker's last visitors

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FlyingFucker's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of FlyingFucker's badges

FlyingFucker's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33546) - you deserved it (3610)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16583) - you deserved it (1259)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, this really big woman asked me for some cigarettes. I didn't have any, which made her angry. Angry enough to pick me up, stuff me in a dumpster, and sit on the lid. I still smell like garbage. FML

#20183027
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19896) - you deserved it (1337)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7932) - you deserved it (26335) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (2754)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

#20178699
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (2929)

On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19526) - you deserved it (4452)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (41818)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

#20175626
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (2053)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by jakeson12 - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

#20171802
168 comments

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (4664)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (30328)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (2386)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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