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About FlashBurn : I'm me, there really can't be much more said about me because trying to define me is simply an exercise in futility.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8753) - you deserved it (7195)
On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (5374)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he randomly sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (1718)
On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (3056)
On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (2857)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (5628)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (3949)
On 09/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by QuickieGirl - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (2813)
On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22774) - you deserved it (2712)
On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (2205)
On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)
Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19781) - you deserved it (3007)
On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52068) - you deserved it (4780)
On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (46332)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (5863)
On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52080) - you deserved it (133713)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
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