About FirstTigerHobbes : All hail the club of G.R.OS.S.
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FirstTigerHobbes's favorite FMLs
by involuntary waxing / 01/15/2012 at 4:00am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
by iheartmorons / 01/14/2012 at 9:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by katie876 / 01/14/2012 at 8:34am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML
by me / 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 1:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Jeslyn03 / 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals
Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML
by magzulism / 01/13/2012 at 10:30am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML
by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
by sillvy / 01/13/2012 at 4:32am / United States / Love
by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…