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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 June 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2105
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About FirstTigerHobbes : All hail the club of G.R.OS.S.

FirstTigerHobbes's page activity

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FirstTigerHobbes's favorite FMLs

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

by involuntary waxing / 01/15/2012 at 4:00am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

by iheartmorons / 01/14/2012 at 9:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

by katie876 / 01/14/2012 at 8:34am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

by anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

by me / 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 1:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

by Jeslyn03 / 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

by sillvy / 01/13/2012 at 4:32am / United States / Love

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy