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FirstTigerHobbes

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FirstTigerHobbes
  • Town/Country : Somewhere....., waiting to pounce...
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 June 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 928
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About FirstTigerHobbes : Hey there!
As you know I'm quite a good looking tiger if you take a look at that amazing blend of orange, black and white fur up there.
But hey you're not too bad yourself with your not-so-hairy skin and your.... Um.... Nah, who am I kidding, you people were put on this planet for one reason only; tiger food!
But enough about me, I'm sure you're here because of something I said. Maybe it was funny maybe it was offensive. But hell, you humans are offended by anything! Us tigers on the other hand are more laid back and have no worries, thus the look of my luxurious coat. My point? If you are offended by my remark, have no fear, you'll be by the grasp of my jaws in no time!
Now leave me, I have people to eat, Calvin Ball to play.
All hail the club of G.R.OS.S.

FirstTigerHobbes's last visitors

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FirstTigerHobbes's favorite FMLs

Today, I started a new medication, not paying much notice to the one side effect: "unusual vaginal secretions". They're unusual alright, they glued my underwear to my skin. FML

#18812557
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:00am - intimacy - by involuntary waxing - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

#18805630
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22315) - you deserved it (5227)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (5657)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

#18803837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (49615)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

#18795817
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16862) - you deserved it (1408)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34280) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (3654)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

#18793315
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28281) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11658) - you deserved it (29005)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (3372)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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