About FirstTigerHobbes : All hail the club of G.R.OS.S.
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FirstTigerHobbes's favorite FMLs
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:45am / Russian Federation / Intimacy
by iliterallypoopedmyself / 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by terrified / 01/18/2012 at 2:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by no money anymore / 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm / United States / Money
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
by Sheliton / 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML
by broke / 01/17/2012 at 11:08am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by moorox45 / 01/16/2012 at 12:10pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML
by CA19oo / 01/15/2012 at 10:08pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Ange / 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
by soontobedumped / 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML
by footbloodfountain / 01/15/2012 at 5:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I laid out an exercise and diet plan for the rest of the year. Today was also the day a guy… Today, I was craving a bean & cheese burrito. After trying to forget about burritos for half of the… Today, I am taking a quick trip to Louisiana which will take 9 hours. As I got my husky out to use…
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…