Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FirstTigerHobbes

Search for a member

FirstTigerHobbes

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1355
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About FirstTigerHobbes : All hail the club of G.R.OS.S.

FirstTigerHobbes's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 5:08am<b>itzypedia</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:10am<b>Aadavis94</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 8:35pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:45am<b>mip_92</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Bombegranite</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:07am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 3:52am<b>jmx14</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 6:58pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:28am<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 1:29pm<b>Rizzen</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 6:42pm<b>FrankusTheHobo</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 2:45pm<b>guitar_shredder</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 9:27am<b>angieemonahan</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:59pm<b>NuggetFarmer99</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:53pm<b>shan88</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 10:32am

FirstTigerHobbes's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of FirstTigerHobbes's badges

FirstTigerHobbes's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (6001)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22300) - you deserved it (1907)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40083) - you deserved it (1828)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

#20084743
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (2113)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (11199)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

#20033836
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (1561)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (8312)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16554) - you deserved it (3064)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

#20022706
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (6414)

On 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by foreveravirgin (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (2890)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

#19484491
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (2775)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

#19484468
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19646) - you deserved it (21808)

On 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm - misc - by phoneless - Jordan

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26940) - you deserved it (3849)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents told me that I will grow up to be a criminal, living on the streets, on drugs. All this because I took the last chocolate egg. FML

#19443098
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - misc - by uhhh what? - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: